Random Rant #1:
Moved out into the country to have a big yard, now there are moles everywhere tearing the crap out of everything. I’m thinking that throwing dynamite down the hole might get me arrested. Plus, do I really want to replace tunnels in my lawn with a giant hole? Some guy at the golf course told me to put uncooked bread dough down the hole and the moles would eat it then their stomach would expand and split which would lead to a painful death. I’m all for the painful death, but I’m having a hard time thinking this tiny animal will just stuff down bread dough. Plus, he had choked down an entire bottle of vodka by the 15th hole so I’m thinking maybe he’s just crazy. He also mentioned that I needed “buckshot” but seeing that moles live underground, I’m not sure how the buckshot is going to help. Again, I think the vodka had something to do with it. If know the proper way to make moles extinct, please email me by clicking here.
And speaking of extinct, feel free to tell me if I’m on to something here or I’m completely retarded. Maybe some stuff is supposed to become extinct. Maybe all the bald eagles should be dead and maybe we’re F*#king things up by keeping them alive. Maybe global warming is supposed to happen and we’re actually screwing things up by trying to prevent it. Maybe when a whale beaches itself we shouldn’t bust our asses to get it back into the water because maybe that’s what’s supposed to happen. Maybe chicken wings are really saving you and broccoli is really killing you. Hell, I don’t know -mg
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